How to Feel More Worthy of Money

One of the most common concerns my clients bring to me is their relationship with money. They often express a deep-seated mistrust in their financial decisions, an inability to save or attract more money, and feelings of unworthiness when it comes to spending on themselves or their desires.

In response, many people turn to external solutions: they scour Google for advice (maybe that is how you found this article!), hire successful financial coaches, and read books promising wealth through mindset shifts. We're frequently told that net worth reflects self-worth, that charging what you're worth is key, and that a positive mindset will lead to financial abundance.

We follow these strategies diligently. We alter our thoughts, recite affirmations, and engage in various financial practices. For some, these methods may work. However, for many—including my clients—the results are elusive, leaving them feeling even more broken and inadequate. This struggle often exacerbates the very worthiness wound we're trying to heal.

So if this resonates with you, know that your frustration is understandable. And here are some thoughts:

Understanding the Context of Money

To transform our relationship with money, we must first examine the cultural and psychological frameworks that shape our perceptions. We live in a capitalist society that measures individual value based on economic participation. The more goods and services one produces or consumes, the greater their perceived worth. Figures like Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk are hailed as epitomes of success within this framework, reinforcing the link between economic prowess and value.

This cultural ethos is embedded in expressions like “earning a living,” which suggests that worth is something to be earned rather than inherent. This belief implies that without economic contribution, one is less valuable. We see this reflected in the marginalization of the elderly and disabled—those who are not seen as economically productive are often devalued.

This cultural narrative shapes our relationship with money, feeding into our worthiness wound. We unconsciously consume, overwork, and seek validation through material success to counteract feelings of inadequacy. The economic system thrives on this cycle, leaving many feeling broken and used.

The Misconception of Net-Worth and Self-Worth

Let’s clarify a crucial point: equating net worth with self-worth is a false equivalence. It’s akin to saying that the value of your car reflects your mother's love for you—it's nonsensical. Your worth is not contingent upon your financial status, assets, or consumption.

There is no price tag on your intrinsic worth. Just as we cannot quantify love, we cannot quantify our value through financial metrics. Understanding this disconnect is vital for healing the worthiness wound and dismantling the internalized beliefs around money and self-worth.

Reframing Money as a Tool

While money is a human-constructed entity with no inherent value beyond what we ascribe to it, it is nonetheless necessary for survival and functioning in our world. Instead of viewing money as a measure of our worth, we should see it as a tool—one that, when used mindfully and ethically, can enhance our lives and contribute positively to society.

By healing our worthiness wound, we can shift our perception of money. We start to see it not as a validation of our existence but as a practical resource. This shift allows us to navigate our financial decisions with greater freedom and without the burden of external validation.

Embracing True Sovereignty

Imagine if, instead of saying, “You are worthy of money,” we said, “You are worthy, and how much you make does not define your worth.” How would our approach to receiving and spending money change if our self-esteem was not tied to our bank accounts?

This perspective embodies true sovereignty—an empowered state where financial well-being and personal worth are separate. This is the path to genuine financial liberation: recognizing that our worth is intrinsic and unaffected by external measures.