I first noticed rigidity within myself around food. I had rigid rules about what to eat, when to eat, how often I should exercise, and even when to exercise. Any deviation from these plans would send me into a spiral of shame and overwhelm. At the time, I believed that these rigid rules were the only things keeping me together.

However, through my healing work, I discovered that rigidity often masks deeper, unresolved emotional wounds. When we explore our rigid behaviors with curiosity and offer compassion to the places where we feel righteous, we open ourselves to new ways of being. We become softer.

The concept of the "worthiness wound" touches on deep psychological roots that shape our sense of self, particularly in the context of gendered socialization. From a psychoanalytic perspective, this wound can be seen as an internalized result of patriarchal structures that have, for centuries, dictated the value and role of women in society.

One of the most common concerns my clients bring to me is their relationship with money. They often express a deep-seated mistrust in their financial decisions, an inability to save or attract more money, and feelings of unworthiness when it comes to spending on themselves or their desires.

The worthiness wound represents a profound and often unconscious belief that we are inherently inadequate, broken, and unworthy of belonging. This deep-seated pain is typically formed during early childhood, when critical developmental experiences shape our core sense of self. Psychoanalytic theory suggests that this wound is not merely a surface issue but a significant part of our internal world, affecting our self-concept and interactions throughout life.

In the journey towards healing painful emotional wounds such as the worthiness wound, one profound and transformative idea is reconnecting with and nurturing our inner child. This approach can provide deeper insight into the origins of our emotional struggles and offer a pathway to profound healing.

Many patients come to my office expressing some type of persistent inner voice questioning one’s right to step into a position of influence and leadership: "Who do you think you are?"

Recently, out of curiosity, I Googled "how to overcome unworthiness" and was bombarded with advice that I found to be misleading or superficial. So, I want to break down the three biggest misconceptions for you, incorporating a psychoanalytic perspective to deepen our understanding of this complex issue.

As I delve deeper into the study of neurology, depth psychology, and trauma, I've identified a recurring theme in the psyche of many women who come into my practice —a pervasive psychological pattern I call the "worthiness wound." This wound lies at the core of a woman’s self-perception, manifesting as a form of self-objectification that deeply impacts her sense of identity and worth.