The Life Changing Path to Internal Freedom

From a psychoanalytic perspective, the narrative of self-suppression and the compulsion to conform emerges as a common thread in the lives of many women, shaped by deep-seated societal expectations and internalized patriarchal norms. The unconscious mind, often neglected in the rush to adapt to external demands, holds within it the roots of behaviors and patterns that seem inexplicable on the surface but are driven by the psyche’s attempts to reconcile inner desires with outer pressures.

In the therapeutic work I’ve engaged in with women, a recurring theme is the pervasive sense of inadequacy that haunts them from a young age. Born into a world that conditions them to believe they are not enough, they often develop coping mechanisms designed to gain the acceptance they crave. These mechanisms are not merely conscious decisions but are embedded in the unconscious as defensive strategies—ways to navigate a world that consistently tells them they are too much or not enough.

The drive to conform, to shrink oneself, and to appease societal norms is not just a learned behavior; it is a manifestation of deep psychological wounds that are reinforced by the patriarchal structures surrounding us. These wounds are further exacerbated by factors such as race, body size, attractiveness, and sexual orientation, which compound the sense of not belonging.

Psychoanalytically speaking, when the psyche is subjected to constant invalidation and suppression, it often turns to somatic expressions—physical manifestations of psychological distress. For instance, binge eating can be understood as a desperate attempt by the unconscious to assert control, to reclaim a sense of agency in a world that has denied it. The act of binge eating, though often viewed as merely a lack of willpower, can be interpreted as a symbolic effort to expand one’s presence, to make oneself seen and acknowledged, even if only by oneself.

This compulsion to overeat, or engage in other self-destructive behaviors, is not random but rather a response to an internalized belief system that one must suppress authentic expression in order to fit in. The unconscious mind, in its wisdom, seeks to bring these conflicts to the surface, urging the individual to confront and heal the underlying wounds.

However, these patterns persist until the individual begins the difficult work of addressing the root causes—unpacking the societal conditioning and the unconscious drives that keep these behaviors in place. Without this deeper exploration, the patterns will continue to manifest in different contexts, repeatedly inviting the individual to pause, reflect, and heal.

True transformation begins with a shift from the external to the internal. While we may not have the power to change societal structures immediately, we do have the capacity to change our relationship with ourselves. This shift requires us to trust the wisdom of the body—the emotions and physical sensations that arise as signals from the unconscious. Instead of judging or dismissing these signals, we can approach them with curiosity, allowing them to guide us toward deeper self-understanding and healing.

Disconnection from the body is a common defense mechanism, often arising from trauma or societal pressures to conform to specific ideals. In a culture that prioritizes rationality and intellect over emotional and somatic awareness, reconnecting with the body becomes an act of rebellion—a way to reclaim our power and our truth.

The body, always grounded in the present moment, serves as a gateway to the unconscious. By attuning to the body’s needs and sensations, we can access the flow of emotions and energy that resides within us, offering insights into our deepest selves. This process is not about “fixing” the body but about listening to it as a reservoir of intuitive guidance and a source of profound wisdom.

As we begin to honor the messages of the body, we cultivate a deeper intimacy with ourselves, laying the foundation for radical healing. This practice of embodied awareness not only shifts our relationship with ourselves but also transforms our connection to the world around us.

At the end of each day or week of engaging in this practice, take a moment to reflect on what has changed within you. While the external circumstances may remain the same, the internal shift—the newfound alignment with your true self—marks the beginning of a profound journey toward wholeness.